The big news this week was that BioWare is fighting for its life against the ever-encroaching hands of death. The grim reaper is looming over their shoulder like an ALS patient in hospice. Matters were made worse when Anita Sarkeesian paid them a visit, which was like putting a frozen body in a coffin and setting it in front of an undertaker. The only thing left to do is bury it six feet deep and commit to the last rites.
But that wasn’t all. Two male feminists who fought hard and tough against #GamerGate – the consumer movement about restoring ethics in media journalism – are off to prison where they’ll be receiving guard-free enemas from the independent contractors at Tyrone & Bubba Inc., which specializes in using seminal fluids for deep scrubbing purposes. By the time the dynamic duty duo gets free in a few years, they’ll have visibly large cavities made clean thanks to 12-inch hoses that will stretch out every inch for the most thorough experience imaginable.
These stories and more in this January 27th, 2018 edition of the Weekly Recap
Two Male Feminists Get Sentenced To Prison Time
Two anti-#GamerGate male feminists will finally understand what it means to be butthurt, and it has nothing to do with somebody saying mean things to them online. The first is Christopher John Goldberg, a former, disgraced NeoGaf moderator who was convicted and sentenced to jail for possessing child pornography. The second one is Matthew Hickey, a rapist who had been raping women for a whole decade, and will now spend three years in state prison for his crimes. The directors of Monster Hunter World have explained why the game isn’t on the Nintendo Switch. And a pro Overwatch player was suspended multiple times, first by the league and then a second time by his own team because of some light banter, proving that the game is the most politically correct piece of mainstream garbage on the market.
SJWs Try To Get Jon Malin Fired From Marvel Over X-Men Tweets
Jon Malin made the cardinal sin by calling out SJWs as SJWs, and this made SJWs angry, especially when Malin compared them to Nazi Germany. SJWs responded by trying to get Jon Malin fired and blacklisted from the comic book industry. Speaking of SJWs… the game Iconoclasts came out, and while a lot of people are giving it plenty of praise, others are leery that the game may be subliminally pushing the Liberal agenda through hidden SJWism. And speaking of even more SJWs… the developers of The Red Strings Club came under fire from Vice’s Waypoint for the game not being SJW enough, even though Deconstructeam attempted to appeal to that crowd as much as possible. DRM is about to get a whole lot worse now that Irdeto acquired Denuvo and have plans on using R&D to increase the effectiveness of the anti-tamper tech. And the U.K., government will be attempting to abolish “fake news” with a special security unit they’ll be deploying across the net.
BioWare Is On Its Death Throes While Sarkeesian Pimps Her Punditry
It’s a scary time to work at BioWare, the company is currently in a rather precarious situation as they’re banking all their bucks and diversity talents on Anthem. If Anthem goes bust then the studio goes kaput. To make matters worse is that Anita Sarkeesian, a culture critic who likes to lambast all things gaming, made the rounds by pimping her punditry to their female staff and a group of beta orbiters known as “allies”. The loot box saga continues, this time with Washing state’s gambling commission getting involved and making some bold moves to have loot boxes classified as gambling. A game called Gay World managed to trigger everybody across the political spectrum, causing different groups to “rheee” and cry for censorship. And speaking of gay… Overwatch‘s new league ended up losing more than half of its viewership averages over the course of just one week.
Blizzard Banning Overwatch Players Based On YouTube Behavior
That’s right, what is displayed on YouTube could get you banned in Overwatch. Game director Jeff Kaplan rolled out the new measure recently by revealing it in a developer update video, stating that what you do on social media could get your account nuked in Overwatch. No joke. The morale at BioWare has dipped significantly due to a series of events that made people realize that the studio is on its last legs, but the executive producer attempts to raise morale about the studio being under Electronic Arts. Epic Games is shutting down Paragon this April after everyone stopped playing it to focus on Fortnite. Also, Skydance Media has joined in collaboration with Tencent Games, according to the LA Times. Also, according to PSU, Santa Monica Studios is denying that God of War won’t be downgraded when it finally launches on the PlayStation 4 this year.